I Must Speak Japanese. Or Else!

I'm very timid about speaking Japanese to people who actually speak Japanese. I babble at my kids non-stop and I talk to myself aloud quite often. In fact, I even spoke Japanese in Japan (to strangers). But I suffer from a completely blank mind when asked to speak Japanese by chat-mates online. I guess I feel that I have more to lose, as far as embarrassment. And in general, I don't like to make mistakes. That makes things a bit difficult since I will obviously make lots of mistakes, especially if I plan to actually learn anything.

My ego is definitely the biggest hurdle that I encounter...over and over again...as I study Japanese.

On the bright side, that same crushing ego that tries to thwart me is also my friend. It keeps me from giving up and it nags me to excel. Without its constant torture, I would have resigned myself to finding the restroom and then quit after that. So, yay, ego! .... ?